Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
