I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
