my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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