Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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