so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
