That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
