I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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