i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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