is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
3pm strippers are depressing
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
