No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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