I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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