ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
