All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
