Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
