Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize