Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'll just stay a virgin forever then

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

You still have to go anyway

(856): View more from New Jersey

Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So gin and wine won't be happening again

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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(513): View more from Ohio

The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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(204): View more from Manitoba

All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."

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(585): View more from New York

javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks

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(631): View more from New York

It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina

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(303): View more from Colorado

I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.

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