No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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