Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I met the friendliest cop last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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