go do what you do best...puke behind churches
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
