I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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