yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
