i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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