haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
