I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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