This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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