He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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