These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
