you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
