someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize