My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize