I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
