I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
