ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
