when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
