By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I did not marry a roomba.
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