$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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