In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
