wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
