I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
