so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
3pm strippers are depressing
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
