i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
