she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
