Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
