'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
