I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
