This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
