And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
