we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
