Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
