Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
