good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i came on her dog
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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