Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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