i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
