Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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