Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
