kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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