We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found the puke drawer
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
