Nicole vs. Life
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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