TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.