i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night